I finally have a Tegan and Sara song (See Dana, I even spelled their names properly!)

No I dont think its a coincidence I found my T&S song on the same day we buried you. Thank you for leaving this here with me. I miss you so much. Were kindred spirits, attached at the soul. Nothing will ever be the same without you, and I wouldnt want it to be. Such a short short time we had together and yet we became more then friends, more then sisters. We poured our hearts out to each other. Knowing you knew all my doubts and fears and joys and dreams, made my life so much easier. Knowing you trusted me with your secrets, made me feel important.

You knew it was coming. I asked you to tell me you wouldnt leave me and you wouldnt. You told me you were scared, I told you I didnt want you to go, you said you didnt want to go either. If only it could have been that simple. If only wishes, and dreams and love could have cured you.

They tell me they buried you with the necklace I sent you. I just wish it had gotten there faster for you to have seen it. It was so you. Delicate, bright, unique, strong. Im comforted knowing youre family did that for me. That they understood how much we meant to each other. How much I loved you. How much Im going to miss you.

I have moments that the pain is overwhelming. That it feels like my heart is shattered and will never be the same. The thought that Monkey will never know the greatness of you first hand is almost unbearable. I hope I can raise her to be even half the woman you were and that somewhere you’re watching out for her. 

Already I have moments too, where I don’t think about you. Already. It seems so soon. Im not forgetting, but Im no longer expecting my phone to ring. Im no longer expecting my inbox to fill. Im getting used to you not being here, and that scares me.

I should probably get some sleep. Taking Monkey to the indoor playground in the morning. You’d love it, theres a whole area devoted to shooting nerf balls at each other.

<3 I love you.

Dana L. M.

November 22, 1985 - January 7, 2011

“Everyone have a great day, okay? And remember to smile.. you can never do too much of that.. much love… :D”

1 year ago  /  4 notes