November 2011
3 posts
February 2011
1 post
January 2011
7 posts
3 tags
I can’t keep walking in your shadow
Like I’m behind you in a never ending line
Buying oreos and skittles and hoping
Wishing
Screaming at you
to turn back around and tell me a story
about your cat
your shoes
your girlfriends love
Head phones on
Volume up
Head down I march forward into tomorrow
and tomorrows tomorrow
and tomorrows tomorrows
and it never ends
I never get...
3 tags
Oreos and Rainbows… I miss you Dana
3 tags
2 tags
Grief
I dont have words
The verbal expression of thought
Wiped out by despair
Part of me is lost
Aimlessly wandering
Seeking its other half
Like a balloon
Slowly I am losing air
Collapsing to the floor
Where I lay alone
Waiting to wake up
From this nightmare
2 tags
I need a sammich
wakeuptostatic:
Make love, not war?
Hmm.. I don’t know if love can solve all our problems…
I know! I’ve got it!
Make sammiches, not war…
I mean, sammiches make everything better, am I right?!
I’m going to take my awkwardness elsewhere now…
2 tags
Typical Dana
wakeuptostatic:
If I had a pocket, had a pocket full of sunshine… I’d take my fucking pants off!
OMG, can you imagine how bad that shit would hurt?!
A pocket.. FULL OF SUNSHINE?!
How the fuck would that shit get in my pants anyway?
How the fuck am I supposed to believe that my pocket is full of sunshine.. when I can’t even get Sara Quin to get in my pants?
-_-
December 2010
3 posts
4 tags
My 2011 Forcast
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Life has had its demands in the past few years, and certainly some of those responsibilities won’t be whisked away. The entrance of a new person or group of people encourages a change. Some of you might not be able to resist saying “yes” to a more vibrant life. If you are honest with yourself, you will acknowledge that you alone have been responsible for holding...
4 tags
Toddler Employment Opportunities PT.2.
So once again Im out looking to put the toddler to work… 2 more options…
Old Timey Tiny Fire Truck Driver.
I guess if none of the previous options work out theres always a life of crime.
4 tags
I get it...
… Im on social assistance, welfare, Ontario works, whatever you want to call it. I didn’t “work” for my paycheck, but isn’t the point of assistance to be there when we can’t work? So when you’re told your cheque will be in on X date, shouldn’t it be there?
My pay is 3 days late now.
3 days. 1 day, ok. 2 days, annoying. 3 days, things are bouncing...
November 2010
4 posts
3 tags
When I was young...
… I egged a house.
Vandalism wasn’t really my thing, but we were bored one night and the brilliance of egging a house came to us. So we went to the store and bought the eggs. We went home and plotted how to stage the egging for maximum impact.
We snuck up.
Silent in the dark.
Adrenalin flowing.
Watching for signs of movement around us.
The night felt too still, as if our bodies...
1 tag
4 tags
The Snow
Waiting for the snow
To spread its white purity
And erase the blackness
Of my history
My world is once again clean
A fresh canvas
To write my new happiness
Enter November
My soul feels alive
Im giddy
Im excited
I can’t wait until tomorrow
tomorrows tomorrow
New doors will open
New views through windows
There is hope
There is sunshine
I am happy
October 2010
17 posts
4 tags
Happy Halloween
THE NUN AND THE CABBIE
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.” She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I...
3 tags
My Stupid Mouth
Id like to be able to express myself better then I do. Often it backfires and slaps me in the face. I think it is best explained through the music of John Mayer, yes, John Mayer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSEYOpI985s
My Stupid Mouth
My stupid mouth Has got me in trouble I said too much again To a date over dinner yesterday And I could see She was offended She said “well...
2 tags
Fuck Cancer
With an 8% chance of passing in school, you technically have 58%. Given an 8% chance at life remember, 50% is the work medical science can’t do.
FUCK CANCER
5 tags
Missing Moments
As you may or may not know when I was pregnant I was virtually alone. My family didn’t know, I had just moved 6 hours from my home and I was already VERY pregnant when I found out.
There was no excitement.
There was no anticipation.
There was no planning or shopping.
There was fear and loneliness and pain.
I dont have pictures in the hospital of proud grandparents, an amazed father,...
3 tags
D.I.Y. Happy
I feel like I should have something to express right now. I should have a rant or a story or some passionate advice for the world but I dont. And Im ok with that. I feel calm, content, peaceful… happy.
I dont know if a switched has been flicked in my brain today but Im so content just being me right now. I feel like I could conquer the world with just my lip gloss and cell phone.
Im pretty...
6 tags
Hero Cookies
I think everyone at one point wanted to be a superhero. I know I did, and I attempted to fly numerous times to prove it (what I actually proved was that teeth are easily removed when rapidly connecting them to a cement wall, but I digress). Super powers (or lack there of) aside, it was cool to be the hero and save the day. To make people feel better and listen to their praise.
I dont think being...
6 tags
Private Thoughts
Dear Sweet Gentle Tumblr Account,
We all know I love you and tell you almost everything. Good things, bad things, random things. Things that confuse people, delight people, concern people. Things that some people dont like, cant handle or dont want to get over reading. But, Dear Tumblr account, I do not tell you everything.
I do not tell you my deepest, darkest middle of the night secrets. I do...
4 tags
Blowing Smoke
*twitch twitch shudder twitch*
Breathe in…
Breathe out…
Breathe in…
Breathe out…
Almost 2 years ive been “clean”. 2 YEARS! And yet some days, its like I took my drag yesterday.
I can be honest about this, I didnt quit smoking for me. I didnt quit smoking to save money. I didnt quit smoking because I didnt love smoking anymore. I quit smoking because I had...
3 tags
3 tags
Thankful
Sometimes you have a shitty day…
Sometimes you have a shitty week…
Hell sometimes the whole fucking month is shitty…
But after all those days, weeks, months you open your eyes, look around, and what remains is what is important and what you should be thankful for. What remains are your friends, your true friends.
The ones that show up in the middle of the night when...
4 tags
Rainbows
I exist at the end of the rainbow
where the colours become one
And their beauty bleeds together
In their technocolored puddle
I play without fear or anger
I am surrounded by light
The sunlight hits the diamonds
Raining from the sky
Their prisms dispersing love
In the form of warm summer rays
I exist there
The beautiful land of hope
The disaster that is me
Is washed clean of despair
...
This is me
Ive fallen at your fucking feet
Im shaking
Im tired
Im dirty
But into my ribs
I feel the toe of your boot
As you continue to kick me
When Im already face down
bleeding
nauseous
silent
Suddenly you stop
You stop and start to walk away
How dare you walk away
How do you fucking dare
Im not done
Im not finished
Im not dead
My last breath
I will make damn sure
You look...
6 tags
#ItGetsBetter
There are children dying.
These children are not dying of starvation, disease or at the physical hand of another person. These children are killing themselves.
KILLING THEMSELVES
And why? Not because they are gay, but because they are made to feel like lesser human beings because of who they might love. MIGHT love! These are teenagers! They don’t love anyone anyone yet, they art even old...
4 tags
WatchThis made my week… Highlight for me? WORK IT!
September 2010
9 posts
4 tags
Career Options for Toddlers
So today was career day for the Monkey… I mean, shes getting on in years and should start to think about these things. We looked at 2 options that she found interesting.
Fire Woman:
Butterfly:
I can’t help but think of Ralph Wiggum. God I hope she chooses fire woman.
6 tags
When a man may or may not love a woman...
Ah Frustration my old friend. I can’t honestly say i’ve missed you.
It happens to everyone. You meet someone, you become friends, you realize your friend is made of awesome, you start to think about your friend first thing in the morning and last thing at night and then you start to notice your friend doing things they didnt do before.
And the wondering begins… You wonder what...
3 tags
Not A Cinderella Story
So i’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about where I will end up in my life. I always hoped i’d meet someone, get married, have a career, the usual white picket fence fantasy. However now that I realize thats probably not going to happen, I need to come to terms with it. So below is a list of reasons I will never have a Cinderella Story.
1. I have BIG feet. Glass slippers would...
4 tags
Current Obsession: Untouched - The Veronicas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykW4rtW2eu0
I go ooh ooh, you go ah ah lalalalalalalala I can’t lie lie lie lie lie lie I wanna wanna wanna get get get what I want Don’t stop Give me give me give me what you got got Cause I can’t wait wait wait any more more more more Don’t even talk about the consequence Cause right now you’re the only thing that’s...
6 tags
Is that your final answer? (Or how to take your...
Risk, it isnt just a board game for those wanting to take over the world, it is also something we are faced with every day. Little risks like trying a new salad dressing, big risks like moving across the country. Physical risks like cutting off all your hair, superficial risks like a new lipstick colour. Every choice we make in our lives involves some form of risk.
Me, myself and I have been in...
4 tags
The First Step...
So they say the first step to beating a problem is admitting you have a problem.
I’m not good at admitting my faults (or asking for help with them, but that is a WHOLE other blog). Even the thought of admitting a problem is making my a little shaky. I can honestly say Im not sure if I will hit the publish button at the end of this.
I have an eating disorder.
Eating disorders arnt just a...
5 tags
Religion, simplified
So yesterday we stopped at a Buddhist monastery to wander the grounds and take in the artistic masterpieces. Neither my mother or I is religious but we both love eastern symbolism and art. We also completely respect those who practice religion.
Walking onto the grounds carrying my 2 year old Monkey the statues took my breath away. Beautiful beautiful monuments. Monkey started to get restless and...
5 tags
I am not a hooker...
Never thought I would actually have to say that and not be joking.
I’m not going to get into specifics but someone I once knew back when I was super poor and struggling (Not this time when I’m super poor, or the last time, ummm let’s just say a long time ago) once offered me money to sleep with him. Well more then once but that’s irrelevent.
Now we all make the joke...
August 2010
7 posts
No smoke breaks in parenting
Today was made of pure frustration.
Some days I can honestly say I hate motherhood. Days when my child displays what the term “terrible twos” really means. Days when people give me that look, as my child loses her mind on the floor of a public area. Days when my daughters feet cease to work and she demands to be carried or given an Oscar for her performance of “Hard done by...
5 tags
The Lost Girl
I feel disconnected.
From friends, from other mothers, from myself.
I dont seem to fit in anywhere, even in my own skin. I see other moms go on play dates or moms nights and I dont fit in there. I’m not in the same place as other moms in my life. I dont have the house, or the career, or the husband. I don’t have the typical life. I’m not complaining about that, I just wish...
7 tags
All this for a bear...
I’ve had a crappy week, Im not going to get into it but lets just say crappy is the polite word I have chosen to describe it. So yesterday when I found out I won a new furry therapy buddy from www.bearsnbuddies.ca through @momstownca’s #NonBlogHer party on Twitter, I was stoked. Ok, I was more then stoked, I was thrilled.
I have some serious guilt issues about being able to raise my...
5 tags
Big Clothes, Small Market
I am a big girl. You may call it curvy, chubby, fat, fluffy, big boned, whatever the point is I’m plus sized.
People often think of plus sized womens clothing as shapeless, oversized, mumu like pieces of material draped over enormous bodies simply to cover the fat underneath.
I am a perfect example of why that thought is bullshit. I put a lot of time, energy and cash into my wardrobe! My...
Have I mentioned I’m possibly the worlds worst housekeeper? Like keep your shoes on for your own safety kind of housekeeper. Now my house isn’t dirty (maybe a little dusty but seriously, stop rolling your eyes and just follow me on this one.) but it is horribly disorganized.
A lot of this comes from flat out owning too much stuff. I can admit I have some hoarding tendancies, I worry...
7 tags
Where do you want to die?
I know what you’re thinking: “WHOA! That’s heavy shit Jodi!”
But really, what is your answer? Most of us would probably die at home, in bed, in our sleep right? I know my Grampa did. My mother did everything in her power to keep him home and let him pass peacefully in a home full of love. Death, its a scary thing right? What if you were just a kid?
“Now...